Pubdate: Sun, 24 Feb 2008 Source: Muskogee Daily Phoenix (OK) Copyright: 2008 Muskogee Daily Phoenix Contact: http://www.muskogeephoenix.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/3319 Author: Terry L. James STRUGGLE WITH DRUGS LED TO LONG PRISON SENTENCE At no point during any of my arrests, do I remember being asked if I was on drugs or if I needed any help. I was in a state of denial, like most drug addicts, so I sure wasn't going to volunteer being a drug addict and being locked up in rehab for six months when I was fixing to be let go. I was never sent to any drug court or rehab. While I was on probation, I never showed up to see my probation officer at the time I was supposed to. This should have thrown up a red flag, but I was never drug tested in the three years I was on probation. At one point, my probation officer asked if I could pass a drug test. I told him no, that I had smoked some pot. He told me to clean up and that was that. Once I came to a point in my life where I was honest enough with myself to admit that I had a drug problem, I was ashamed of myself. I didn't want to put my family through all of the disgrace of everyone knowing I was an addict, so I never went to get help on my own. I have been locked up for 21 months and spent 11 of those months in prison. During this time, I have never heard of any kind of rehab or drug treatment. There is a program called Christians Against Substance Abuse or CASA. This is a 12-step program that lasts for 13 weeks. You attend one meeting a week and each meeting lasts for about an hour and a half. That's a total of about 20 hours of class trying to change a habit that took you years to develop. There was an AA group that lasted about two months, but they did away with that. As far as education, there is a GED program and one college course. For job training, there is a barber shop and an upholstery class. Both are very hard to get into. I am now attending a faith and character program. It lasts for one year. I go to class for two to four hours a day, Monday through Thursday. This program is brand new to the state this year. While in this program, I've learned a lot about why I do what I do and how to overcome my negative behavior. Some people can change without being sent to rehab or prison. As for myself, I needed to be locked up and dried out away from my "friends" and see what I was putting my whole family and community through. No matter how hard I tried to get off drugs, I could not because they were always close to me, and I didn't think one more time would hurt anything. But it did. It hurt a poor old lady and my family. A person can learn a lot of bad things in here. I spent a year in county jail where drugs were not as available as they are here. But I've had no desire at all to get high since I've been here. I hate the dopehead I was. Terry L. James, Oklahoma State Reformatory in Granite - --- MAP posted-by: Derek